Suffocate

I felt cold, my body was stiff and my back ached. I was trying to open my eyes but nothing was happening. As I tried forcing them to open a dense colour of red blurred all the images. My eyelids seemed to be pilling of but at that moment I didn'd care if they did.

I was struggling so hard but all my efforts were fruitless. I couldn't give up but I knew I had been a cause of all this pain. With endless pressure from everyone and a broken heart. I had decided to come hear and settle things for good.

I was beginning to choke and I felt dizzy. I flung my fists vigourusly in all directions but I could feel nothing. I was bruising myself and fighting against nothing. The picture was becoming darker and the pain unbearable. I yelled out but that got more water down my throat. I felt relief and then I knew it was done. Someone was going to find my body floating underneath the thin ice.

I wouldn't say I never lived my life to the fullest but I had no one and nothing to lean on. I had drowned myself in self pity for too long it was time I drowned myself in something different. No one to stop me and nothing to hold me back. I had everything before me I just never appriciated it and my selfishness had healed no wounds helped no one. I had thought of these thing even as I took my last breath I felt a feeling of guilt but dismissed it immediatly. Closing my ears from that small voice,, but there was no turning back and my motives shall always remain a mystery.